Saturday, May 29, 2010

Varieties of Iris Whose Names Sound Like Other Things

Some of them sound like porno films:
Some of them sound like sex acts:
Some of them sound like terrible bands:
Some of them sound like things your grandmother might say about women she does not like:
Some of them sound like strains of weed:
Some of them sound like perfume brands a prostitute would wear:
And some of them sound like baby names chosen by pretentious assholes:


Other things they also sounded like but I didn't feel like making lists for: sugary cocktails, clothing lines for plus-sized women, bargain vacation packages, euphemisms that mafiosos might use to refer to methods of killing people, dances that were popular in the 60s, and slogans for ill-fated political candidates.

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