Between the official In-N-Out website and this nonsanctioned but entirely handy breakdown of off-the-menu eats, I and you and we all should now have a good understanding of what you can order at this burgarium that will actually result in edible food. But shouldn’t there be more? I thought so.
For you consideration:
Mr. In-N-Out: A standard Double Double molded into the shape of a little man, with the patty being the body, the cheese being hair and facial features and the bun being clothes and a little hat.
Atheist Style: Whatever you’d normally order at In-N-Out, but with the bible verses on the cups and trays being scratched out by the people behind the counter.
Wendy’s Chiliburger: Someone in kitchen has to drive to Wendy’s to buy chili to slather over an In-N-Out burger.
Fries Not Done: Sliced raw potatoes, unsalted and served to you apologetically.
The Taco Fabuloso: A regular burger, sans a top bun and with the bottom bun curved into a makeshift taco shell into which the meat, sauce and vegetables are stuffed.
With Contempt: Again, standard In-N-Out menu items, just served by employees permitted to disregard the otherwise mandated cheerful attitude.
The Deuce: A single, cooked beef patty wad is dropped into your fountain drink.
Props to anyone who can convince In-N-Out employees to prepare any of these.