Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Bride Was a Pine Tree

Jill, who may be familiar to some readers as the girl with the phony MySpace account and who has been blogging about her travels through China with her manfriend over at Jill Uses Chopsticks, has finally posted her wedding photos. And that’s weird, because she’s not getting married. As she — or rather Manfriend Brook, writing as her — explained it, the custom of Chinese wedding photos has bridge and groom dressing up in some attractive outfits and some Lady Gaga ridiculous outfits months before the wedding, a kind of movie star-for-a-day treatment that, I’d imagine, makes fashionable couples look even more chic and the frumpy ones look uncomfortable and sad.

A few of the photos made it to the blog. Some are very nice and would make for acceptable wedding cards in any country. Others gives Jill orange skin, purple lips and visible pores — which is, perhaps, a look that has yet to catch on in the States. My absolute favorite, however, would have to be the one that makes Jill look like some kind of plant monster or half-plant, half-woman amalgamonster from Greek mythology — Poison Piney, if you will — or perhaps album art one of the trippier Goldfrapp albums.

This is what it looks like:

jilly_bajiggle

I am very impressed, with the photographers, the make-up artists and anyone who helped convince Jill that she should do this. I say this as someone who once “clowned” her house and who also once convinced a good chunk of her associates that she had changed her email address to chestylovin@hotmail.com. Bravo, people. Bravo.

3 comments:

  1. Ha, I totally misread the beginning of this post. I thought "Manfriend Brook, writing as she" and "phony Myspace account" to be an admission that Jill was a character in a po-mo experiment cooked up by a writer named Manfriend Brook (a German?) to "explore the boundaries of identity" or some garbage like that. I spent way too long, totally befuddled and clicking through the links before I finally realized how daft I was being.

    Now that I understand what's going on...wow, these are amazing photos! What a fascinating custom.

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  2. I have changes "writing as she" to writing as her," which is grammatically correct and should prevent further confusion.

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  3. Oh, I wasn't complaining about your writing at all, I was just laughing at my poor reading comprehension skills and the ridiculous scenario misreading this entry presented.

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