See what I mean? It’s like a lemur made love to a monkey and all the best parts combined into a in a single bastard hybrid species. Native to southeast Asia, the slow loris’s Indonesian name, malu malu, translates into English as “the shy one.” I think this is telling, as I can’t count how many kids coasted through my lower school classes by making an innate slowness with purported shyness.
A major negative: Their eyes are prized by practitioners of “traditional medicine” — or as the careless call them, witch doctors.
An even more major negative, in my book: The poor slow lorises must also cope with the fact that they have a sister species known as the slender loris. And that’s just unfair.
Run, slow loris! Come to me! Bury your uncannily expressive eyes in my shoulder and I shall feed you sugar cane and sweet, sweet raisins! I shall name you Doris or possibly Boris but most likely Doris! Your eyes shall remain in your head until I say otherwise.
Weird animals, previously: