Sounding Just as Good Coming From Padma

With only one episode left in the current run of Top Chef, Padma Lakshmi’s line to departing contestants means more than ever: “Please pack your knives and go.” However, recent idle conversation created variants, which might suit Lakshmi if she’s looking into spin-off opportunities:

For Top Baked Potato Chef: “Please pack your chives and go.”

For Top Beekeeper: “Please pack your hives and go.”

For Top Reincarnationist: “Please pack your lives and go.”

For Top Polygamist: “Please pack your wives and go.”

For Top Abusive Polyamorist: “Please smack your guys and go.”

For Top Self-Mutilator: “Please hack your thighs and go.”

For Top Dadaist Chef: “Geese attack your pies and glow.”

For Top… Is Padma Lakshmi Breaking Up With Me and Choosing Strange Words To Do It?: “Please sack your lies and go.”

For Top Punster: Please pack your contrive…d attempts at wordplay and go.”