Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Box Full of Puppies

You remember that bygone, misfit TGIF sitcom Dinosaurs, right? It should stand out because it was performed by people in dinosaur suits instead of people not in dinosaur suits. Hmm? What’s that? No, you’re thinking of Boy Meets World. This is Dinosaurs, a show that I can’t believe actually aired as long as it did, much less on the most mainstream night of TV that ABC ever slapped together. Weird though it was, the show offered some interesting cultural criticism. In one episode, family patriarch Earl became the head of a TV network, for some reason, and made shows so blandly appealing that they began to make viewers incredibly stupid — terrible things like The Happy Colors Show, which featured squares that would flash different shades, or Box Full of Puppies, which featured just that: squirming, yipping baby dogs. It’s hard to argue against the inherent entertainment value.

I experienced the Box Full of Puppies phenomenon this weekend. In a harmonic convergence the likes of which have previously inspired astrologers of yore and The 5th Dimension, I happened to be at my parents’ house while my cousins were watching over not one but nine Border Collie puppies. If you know me at all, you would understand that this amounts to heaven, or at least as close as I’ll ever get in this life. Of course, the puppies instantly reduced me to a googooing idiot who was entertained by their mere raising of single paw. And they raised their paws several times, at least. Total permagrin. I can’t tell if the experience made me stupider or not, but I suppose the new stupid me might not be able to appreciate the lowered intelligence. I guess for the moment we’ll have to assume the Dinosaur writers were not, in fact, prophets, though I think the Pet Channel actually now airs a show that’s not all that unlike Box Full of Puppies.

So I say we should do an experiment. I took some photos of all nine of the puppies — though I was rarely fortunate enough to get all of them in one frame — and I’d like you all to take a look and tell me if you feel stupider.

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If you like, you can see the complete puppy collection here.

And if that weren’t enough, the cousins — whose house has always been a sort of dog playground — now own a four-month-old Irish Water Spaniel, who’s equally wonderful and kind of resembles the singing dog from those Nestle’s commercials. (I know, I know — this post is weirdly heavy on puppet references.)

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Finally, here’s one of the dog I spent the most time with. He’s not a puppy, but that only means he’s able to fit more love inside him. Also, I have to give him credit: He has years of experience being a Border Collie that the puppies just can’t compete with.

guilty-looking border collie

So, stupider yet?

11 comments:

  1. I definitely feel less able to parse and interpret election coverage, design steel or concrete structures, or keep track of my schedule.

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  2. But why follow the election or make buildings when you could just look at puppies all day?

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  3. this post made my heart explode.

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  4. God those dogs are cute! I keep a part-time job at a local kennel just to play with the dogs, I don't even need the money!

    DOGS!

    ps. your blog rules.

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  5. Actually, (and I usually hate dogs) I think border collies make you smarter. My parents have one and he's smarter than my sister... but I guess that means he made her at least look stupider. These puppies are super cute, too.

    Also, Dinosaurs? I thought I was the only person who watched that show... and how do you remember specific episodes... do you have this show on DVD or something?

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  6. I just had the most ridiculous giggle fit... but I've long been one whose stupid for adorable puppies. Puppywar.com , yo.

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  7. Aww, look at that one puppy that's standing on its hind legs. It's like a little Rory Calhoun.

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  8. Euphoria: I don't have Dinosaurs on DVD, not am I sure such a thing even exists. No, my knowledge of the show all comes for having watched it as a kid and it continuing to occupy valuable mental real estate for some reason. This is probably why I did so poorly in math in high school.

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  9. I used to love that show, although I remember one episode freaking me out, but I can't remember which one. As for a box full of puppies, I think they could cause world peace. Who can't fall to pieces when seeing little puppies. I'm mildly embarrassed to admit this, but sometimes I think my Nintendogs do cute things.


    Your best photo is the one in which the puppy is tugging at the jeans, and the one where the dog looks derangedly happy. (second to last)

    Adorable photos, I'm struck too dumb to even finish commenting or even to recgonize if that is the proper form of "too", to the point that the word "too" looks weird.


    You made my night with this adorable puppies. :)

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  10. PS "It should stand out because it was performed by people in dinosaur suits instead of people in dinosaur suits."

    Am I missing something or is this a typo?

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  11. Typo. Fixed. Thanks.

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