Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Shanghaied

The below advertisement originally appeared in GQ magazine, apparently back when ad designers didn't care about pissing off Chinese people. Note the font. Note the model. Note her clothes. And then check below for the text.

shanghaied


The text reads as follows:
Ah, the lure of the Orient. How many American consumers have fallen prey to it in search of the cheap pair of pants that Hong Kong is famous for. Well, at BP Britches, an all-American maker of young men's britches, we say, "Look homeward, Joe," because the bargains are stateside. When you buy BP Britches brand, you get American integrity, not Hong Kong hype, you get honest American construction and materials, not a chop chop Hong Kong quickie.

Also, Joe, with us you get fashion that is current and pure Americana instead of a look with a Hong Kong slant. And best of all, when you buy BP Britches your dollars fight America's inflation rather than contributing to it. So, before you spend your money somewhere you shouldn't, compare BP Britches to the Hong Kong cheapie and you'll know whose pants you want to get into.
Wow. Oh my god wow. I'm not sure what's worse: "chop chop Hong Kong quickie" or the remark about fashion with a "Hong Kong slant." You know, because we "roundeyes" like to think that Chinese people have the ocular slant.

And then there's the weird line at the end: "You'll know whose pants you want to get into." But these are men's pants, right? So they're making a joke about getting into somebody's pants when the previous text has already confirmed that we're only speaking of men's pants here. Does BP Britches hate the conniving Dragon Lady so much that they want me to fool around with guys? Is good old-fashioned American homoerotica preferable to Cino-American miscegenation? Because that's what I'm getting. I think.

And let's talk about the woman for a moment. I know the ad implies that this deceptively beautiful woman might lead a guy to think he's getting a good deal — you know, because she's totally a hooker — but much in the manner that Hong Kong slacks are shoddily constructed, so too is this Hong Kong Hattie. Take her back to your hotel, give her one good thrust and BOING! — her seams pop open and her wang flops out. The next thing you know, her one hundred brothers flood into the room, karate chop you senseless, and spirit your pants away to the Seamstress of Wind and Ghosts, who will badly mimic your desirable American fashion into — you guessed it — another chop chop Hong Kong quickie, made of paper and spit.

And that, Joe, is why you don't buy Chinese pants.

Strange, strange advertisement.

3 comments:

  1. gwendy1:45 PM

    also, you can't use the phrase "buyer of young men's britches" and not sound like you're alluding to paedophilia.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:27 PM

    also, proud that you managed to get through this whole "lies well-disguised"-ish post without once using the phrase "shanghai surprise"

    -spence

    ReplyDelete
  3. dean fearce7:49 AM

    hey, thanks for this ad. I'd seen it years ago posted on flipside when the site was free and wanted to show it to someone else, so I googled it and your blog popped up in the SERPs

    your now backlinked from TIBU (thisisby.us)

    dean fearce

    ReplyDelete