Monday, May 07, 2007

Brenis

On the giant one-eyed monster:
noijustlooklikeu: i dig it
noijustlooklikeu: it's very drew
kidicarus222: yay
kidicarus222: approval!
noijustlooklikeu: i also like the one-eyed monster
noijustlooklikeu: and all of the inappropriate jokes that follow that
kidicarus222: he's a cyclops, but the joke i'm perpetuating is that he actually has a second, hidden eye, thus making him a bi-clops
kidicarus222: because "bi-clops" is one of the funniest words i've heard in a while
kidicarus222: that is, heard in my head
noijustlooklikeu: yeeeah
noijustlooklikeu: i think i like the good, old-fashioned penis joke better
noijustlooklikeu: a giant phallus taking over a city?
noijustlooklikeu: in your face, trojans
kidicarus222: problem: no sensible city-state would let a giant phallus into town. you see a big dick coming your way, you know it means trouble
kidicarus222: also, ha ha --- "in your face, trojans"
noijustlooklikeu: i think we can both agree that if we see a big dick coming our way, it doesn't ALWAYS mean trouble
kidicarus222: i think that's a universal consensus
noijustlooklikeu: only if it has arms and legs
noijustlooklikeu: or is an odd orangey color
kidicarus222: or not particularly phallus-shaped
noijustlooklikeu: bulbous
kidicarus222: oh, horrendously bulbous
kidicarus222: like, infected
kidicarus222: or blocked up
kidicarus222: or something
kidicarus222: honestly, just looking at the body now, i think it looks more like a breast
kidicarus222: with the eye being the nipple
kidicarus222: admittedly, not a very nice breast, but it's also not that great of a penis
noijustlooklikeu: yeah
noijustlooklikeu: its brenis
kidicarus222: oh
kidicarus222: my
noijustlooklikeu: that's it's name
noijustlooklikeu: BRENIS
noijustlooklikeu: i don't think i'm going to write my papers anymore
noijustlooklikeu: i'm just going to write BRENIS in block lettering and turn it in
kidicarus222: "brenis" sounds like a fashionable yuppie child's name
noijustlooklikeu: or a giant hybrid boob-penis coming to a town near you
kidicarus222: little richmond and his younger sister brenis
kidicarus222: you know, because "brenda" was taken
kidicarus222: you'll have to excuse little brenis's behavior. she's been upset ever since she found out that thing on her face is actually a brenis. you know, a breast-penis... no, the name was totally coincidental
noijustlooklikeu: we initially had her treated for what we thought was a lazy eye, but it turns out she is a one-eyed monster. and not the good kind, either.
kidicarus222: frankly, her mother and i aren't too upset about it. we don't care for her very much and we've chosen to view the brenis as suitable punishment for her bad manners
noijustlooklikeu: we considered establishing a foundation to promote awareness of the brenis, but we discovered little brenis is the only brenis of her kind. the next closest creature type, from what we could deduce, would be sloth from 'the goonies.'
kidicarus222: we tried to make a playdate, but sloth was scared of brenis. oh, how she cried on the drive home! her mother and i could scarcely keep a straight face!
noijustlooklikeu: so now we just keep her chained to the fence, and give sticks to little richie and his friends so that they can play with her when they're looking for something to do. we let her off once a week to play in a model village. for some reason that's the only thing that makes her happy.
kidicarus222: yes, yes. the little blue city with the tiny skyscrapers
kidicarus222: i mean, we could put her in a special school, but her mother and i would rather spend that money on richie
kidicarus222: he's quite the athlete, richie is
kidicarus222: smart, too
noijustlooklikeu: he'll be president one day, mark my words
noijustlooklikeu: we just keep brenis on hormone injections now to keep her from reaching puberty
noijustlooklikeu: she's hard enough to bathe now as it is
noijustlooklikeu: and we aren't getting any younger!


EDIT: Since Brenis no longer appears in my blog banner, I decided to let him appear here, for the sake of posterity.

Photobucket

5 comments:

  1. Good lord.

    Anywho, I'm back in SLO. I'll give you a call next time I'm back in SB.

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  2. You two have too much brenis, erh, time on your hands....

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. My last name is Brenis....thats no joke...but its pronounced Breh-nes not Bree-nis

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