Jo-Jessica

I found this while sorting through old stuff. It's already been CTRL+Ved onto this blog once, shortly after it went up, but I have no qualms about doing it again. At least in part. The good part. Just read this fraction of my contribution to an Artsweek top ten-themed issue.

Ten Meaningless Syllables Sung in Pop Music

1. “Hey hey hey”
2. “La la la”
3. “Ooh ooh ooh”
4. “Oh oh oh”
5. “Yeah yeah”
6. “Oh yeah”
7. “Mmm mmm mmm mmm”
8. “Dee dee dah”
9. “Uh-huh uh-huh.”
10. “Mocha chocolata ya ya.”

Ten Songs That Tell You to Do a Certain Dance That You Probably Don't Know How to Do

1. “The Electric Slide”
2. “The Wah-Watusi”
3. “Boot Scootin' Boogie”
4. “The Twist”
5. “The Time Warp”
6. “The Hand Jive”
7. “The Hustle”
8. “The Bunny Hop”
9. “The Hokey Pokey”
10. “The Locomotion”

Ten Peculiar Questions Asked in '80s Songs

1. “How can we sleep while our beds are burning?” — Midnight Oil, “Beds Are Burning”
2. “Could it be the smog is playing tricks on my eyes, or is a roller skater in some kind of headphone disguise?” — Missing Persons, “Walking in L.A.”
3. “Do I stand in your way or am I the best thing you've ever had?” — Pat Benatar, “Love Is a Battlefield”
4. “I wonder who's watching me now, the IRS?” — Rockwell, “Somebody's Watching Me”
5. “How does it feel when your heart grows cold?” — New Order, “Blue Monday”
6. “Who's that gigolo on the street with his hands in his pockets and his crocodile feet?” — Neneh Cherry, “Buffalo Stance”
7. “Will you stand above me, look my way and never love me?” — Simple Minds, “Don't You (Forget About Me)”
8. “When you say it's gonna happen now, what exactly do you mean?” — The Smiths, “How Soon Is Now?”
9. “Why can't I get just one fuck?” — Violent Femmes, “Add It Up”
10. “Should I cool it or should I blow?” — the Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”