Though I can't remember what apparently rude behavior led me to sign the below receipt the way I did, here it is nonetheless. Be amused by my lameness.
And while you're here, please note the following three points of shame: (1) Not only did I refuse to tip the bartendress who so apparently so raised my ire, but I also (2) decided to write below the signature field that the rest of the bar staff should know that "The dark-haired girl is a snatch. Don't tip her" in drunken belief that the people who work at the bar are somehow responsible for doling out tips, and then (3) apparently pocketed the receipt I signed — thus allowing me to reproduce it here — instead of leaving it at the bar so the dark-haired girl would know that she is, in fact, a snatch.
Classic. Fucking classic.