Wednesday, January 25, 2006

What I Did to E

  • When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. But studies show that when one vowel allows another to walk her home after a party, her chances of becoming victim to the foul, silent crime called "date rape" increase by over 50 percent.
  • When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking until, too focused on conversation, he trips and falls.
  • When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. But when two vowels go running, the really should stretch first, lest they suffer a strained muscle.
  • When two vowels go walking, they fall in love. Later, they marry and become a diphthong. As time passes, however, one vowel starts spending too much time with that slut-back consonant down the street — my guess is "L," often called the "sauciest letter" by linguists — and the other vowel comes home and sees them in bed together, forming their own illicit syllable. This second vowel flies into a rage and executes them both with a shotgun.
  • When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. But vowels apparently don't get much exercise in Czechoslovakia — alone or in pairs.
  • When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking. It doesn't matter, though. Because no matter who comes first, neither has too much to talk about. They're just vowels, after all.

2 comments:

  1. I really, really like this. It's terribly clever, particularly the extended one involving dipthongs and syllables.

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  2. Anonymous1:35 PM

    Fabulous! As a 1st grade teacher seeking reinforcement goodies for her students,THIS was excellent fodder for my afternoon! I have already shared it with a friend!

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